I miss having something to look forward to.

From Sunrise to Sundown<333
I just love road trips. Consecutive out of town venues are thrilling, especially when you get out of the car and you feel the rush of the wind that almost seems foreign. Then the adrenaline rush of knowing you haven't tried something, and you're about to jump at the opportunity.
Los Angeles, San Diego, Santa Clara, Santa Cruz, Moneterey, Las Vegas
I hella miss those packing days and night trips..



I miss a lot of things.

Premises and Promises

"The faintest waft is sometimes enough to induce feelings of hunger or anticipation, or to transport you back through time and space to a long-forgotten moment in your childhood. It can overwhelm you in an instant or simply tease you, creeping into your consciousness slowly and evaporating almost the moment it is detected." ~Stephen Lacey, Scent in Your Garden, 1991

"It is singular how soon we lose the impression of what ceases to be constantly before us. A year impairs, a luster obliterates. There is little distinct left without an effort of memory, then indeed the lights are rekindled for a moment - but who can be sure that the Imagination is not the torch-bearer?" ~Lord Byron

Prom Mania

St. Pat's Prom is coming up soon.. Here we go again.


But I've been thinking about how I miss hella people. I need to get back on the youth night hype again, I just don't know when.. I have some catching up to do. Hopefully it starts falling into place.

P.S.
All of a sudden, memories come flashing back. I could be cheesy and say that I'm starting to feel those butterflies in my stomach again.. But I won't because I don't know if this is just one of those cute "remember-when" situations that all of a sudden knock you back into the current "here-we-are-now" reality. Sometimes I wish I could just tap you on the shoulder and say,
"Hey, I just realized I really like you. Would you mind telling me if you feel the same?"
But the again that wouldn't be life, would it.

Why am I getting those butterflies in the night?

These starlit nights are becoming to look beautiful. Whenever I have those, I tend to get buried in songs.
I just wish the weather wasn't so bipolar, then I could get out of the house feeling comfortable with my outfit. I hate it when I don't have my phone, plus.. I'm going to miss about four youth nights. I already miss bff#2.. don't forget about me haha. I hope I see them soon because these past few days I've been thinking about how there were so much things I've been avoiding. Bottom line is: I just can't wait :)

Prom is tomorrow night. It still echoes in my head, just like the songs from Joy Division and Radiohead. It's funny how these things become your security blanket.


Well anyways,
I'm gonna wait for the nice weather. The nights are already looking romantic.. I just need a prince charming to go with it :)

Every choice has a consequence.

It just depends on which one you can live with.

I don't want to wait in vain for your love.

Hella old picture I found in my picture album. Nostalgia is definitely bittwersweet.

I need to:
*really consider my classes next year; i'm supposed to be taking two AP classes, pre calculus, physics, and psychology. talk about a major meltdown
*buy my prom dress + turn in my mothaeffin contract form because i am slacking BIG TIME
*clean my room again (haha my siblings treat it like a game room)
*get ready to go to church (talent show today!) and adrian's house (yet im still here)
*remember to finsih ALL of my homework by sunday. no exceptions
*punch bffae for going to the club on his SENIOR PROM NIGHT
*call Jim tomorrow
*hang out with tianna boo and the homies before she leaves!

I might be forgetting something, but I have to go haha.

It's all cute to me.

Hah.. Why am I not surprised? I freakin' knew it from the start.


Anyways, I'm a major slacker! I hella didn't finish my application (which I was supposed to give to my date like weeks ago). Ugh it's just.. stupid things, like NOT HAVING MY PHONE. Sucks balls. Now I have to wait 'til whenever that will be.
Oh and I told Roe and them to visit me at my house, and so they waited in my backyard for like an hour haha! My bad. I really tried to get a hold of Christine though, but her phone died. And it wasn't like I had an easy access to a phone. My mom dragged me all the way to Stockton, and we didn't even get home until midnight. I hope I see them again though, even for a little bit.



P.S. I miss a few people :) And also.. Happy Birthday to Marco "pork bun!" haha I hope I see bff#2 and the homeboys soon.

WOMP WOMP WOMP, I need to find all these shirts I like. Pretty soon I won't even remember half of them.

Pick the lesser of the two evils.

5 days and she's moving! I hate re-adjusting.. but such is life.

I have a feeling that I'm going to miss a lot of things, more than I do now.
I miss the sleepless nights when nothing else mattered but the fact that we were all grouped together. I miss those cold nights walking around the neighborhood handing out flyers for the party. I miss cleaning the kitchen while singing and pretending we were in a music video. I miss taking risks, and having the adrenaline rush while doing them. I miss having the courage, the enthusiasm, the curiosity that make it all seem like one great adventure. I miss the days when pride and doubt were not the issue.

Now it either blinds you, or it buries you alive.

Under my umbrella ella ella ei ei.

I get so weak in the knees, I can hardly speak, I lose all control, and something takes over me...
I was singing hella throwback songs today, and eventually had Lana and Kevin sing with me haha. Weak, I'm Not a Girl(haha), Unbreak My Heart(wtf), and even Dance Dance Dance and I'm Good, I'm Gone by Lykke Li. Our karaoke status went indie haha. That song got stuck in my head while I was in Niketown in SF tho!

Got surprised today because I had a perfect 450 score on both my English and Math California Standards Testing. I seriously didn't even think of that.. and if Ms. Hill didn't talk about it today, I would have forgotten that we ever took it haha! Good start. But today was just too ironic to simply say that it was "good."
Too many things to worry about, especially now that I have a lot of work to finish. Then at school it's all wet and muddy since Bethel is a college style open campus. And the biggest bummer.. well, I guess the numbered days are slowly getting to me... Tianna is moving soon, oh mann. Last weekend here and there are too many plans to choose from. Idk, whatever happens.

Well on the bright side, I have my 24 Hour Fitness membership back! Haha finallyyy after almost a year. And I have to buy a dress already.. sorry BFFAE I'm slacking on you haha


Hey cutie, you can stand under my umbrella :)

A girl with eyes that can look through all the bullshit.

Fast and Furious. If you haven't already watched it, do so because this action packed, fire blazing, and revenge seeking movie just about hits the notch of those racecar devoters. And while you're at it, catch up on the lines. Most of them are pretty darn witty.


The Christian Church I attended last Friday was nice. Bff # 2 wanted me to go, even though they were late all because of me..haha. All of them were friendly, and it was nice hanging out with them after church (considering they already wanted me to join the choir and the dance group)
We went to Applebees at around 10 or 11, and probably stayed there til 2 in the morning. He paid for me.. hah Thank You BFF # 2 :)

I'm supposed to attend this every Friday, but lets see how that goes because of my mom's goofy schedule. Anyways, I hung out with the crew again. I swear we get in some crazy shit haha. But damn... we had too many insiders that being in John's house with people for hours felt pretty weird. Carlo and I couldn't stop laughing.. hah... man Coconut I'm gonna punch you.

BEST SPRING BREAK BY FAR. It's kinda hard to accept that it's finally over. It's too hard to forget, literally.. But oh well, I guess it's time to get back in the busy streamline. Waking up early five days in a row definitely feels like a drag to me. But maybe one of these days when I finally learn to adjust, it won't be so bad.


Well,
what happens when you continue to not say what you mean and not mean what you say?

Are you ready for this?

I think Spring Break has finally lived up to Winter Break's madness, or maybe even more. I haven't had the time to blog, even though I could have posted using my phone. It's either I'm out or just simply passed the fuck out.

Finally got to hang out with Best Friend again because I went to BFF # 2's house for a little kick-it. Then all the homeboys came again :) (I'm supposed to meet them again at church today, oh boyyyy I hope I make it)

So we really did go to SF (again) and to the beach. There were 4 cars following Adrian as the lead car to El Cerrito BART Station. We got lost.. haha, but not only that, the last car wasn't able to keep up with our reckless driving, so they thought they had to keep going to the next exit when we already took one. Then everything got delayed from there because we literally had to figure where they were (and where WE were hahaha). After 2 hours of chillin at this one parking lot, they finally found us, and this one hobo was actually the only one who told us that the BART Station was just a right across the street behind the buildings we were at.. HAHA.



I didn't expect to get hella close with these people in just one day. I mean, I hung out with a few of them just a night before, but our mobbin' in SF and goofing around at the beach felt like I had known these crazy nigglets for years.
P.S. I had two dates.. hahaha, anddd I FREAKIN LOVE SF.


I love how most of the guys literally walked all around Union Square (well actually, everywhere we went) with our purses. HAHH I love these niggas. Then "Coconut" was chattin it up with this Indian guy who spoke fluent tagalog! haha He was saying I was his girlfriend for two years, and everybody just went along with it. That guy believed his lie and even said that we should get married HAHA I elbowed Coconut and blurted, "Uh haha.. that's too early, sir" Now it's like an inside joke haha.

The beach was fun, we had that pool wrestling type, even with the cold ass water. Got HELLA wet, but whoop-dee-doo. Continued walking up hills, the bus again back to Union Square. Then Carlo surprised me with a shirt and a red rose.. I was speechless!
asdfghjkl;' Didn't expect that goofy day to end up with a sweet night.. ahaaa. It was 9 PM and we were still there.. come on train, come already.


Thaaanks for paying pretty much everything for me, Carlo.. even though I kinda ditched you with "Coconut" haha! Ilovethatday. Jumped over the ticket slots back at El Cerrito instead of using our tckets ahaaa.



The next day we went to Adrian's house, and you know how they roll with the drinks haha. Everyone was throwing up except for me, mark, and tianna. Hah I'm proud of myself for not getting carried away with the shots. Made a new bff --> BFF # 3!

Climbed out a window and climed a fence.. ahhh.. HAHA omfg I'll just leave it at that. I don't even want to start telling what happened just last night, it was crazy. But anyways, I'm finally home after how many days and I CRASHED.

P.S.!
Fixed Gear Beer Tap
When I get a house, I am going to buy one of these!

Plus this shirt <33333